"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." ~ Benjamin Franklin

At What Point

>> Thursday, September 13, 2007

Do you just throw in the towel and say "I'm done"?

A few of you saw my rant about my father's wife the other night. For those of you who didn't, here's a run down. She lied about quite a few things to my uncle's wife and they came out when my uncle's wife couldn't keep her mouth shut.

Being me- and operating on barely any sleep for two days and stress- I called her on those lies. It was an ugly scene.

But the next day I was big enough to ask forgiveness -even though I really don't feel like I was in the wrong. And I went on with doing what I could to help family.

Well, it seems that my father's wife just can't let things go and has been laying into my father about us kids and our dislike for her. Honestly, I think she does it just because he can't get up and leave.

But I digress. Tonight he talked to my sister about it. It seems that I am the source of the trouble. Things that happened at least 10 years ago were brought up- things that I had forgotten about. Things that were instigated by my father's wife. Like the letter "they" wrote to me calling me a prostitute. And, of course, the fact that I "started" the bru-ha-ha on Saturday.

There is much more that I could throw in that goes back to my childhood, but let's just say that I have done a lot of forgiving in this relationship and I just wonder when is it time to say "I'm done"? And can it be done at this point in time?



I think if there is lying and stuff brought up from 10 years ago...you should be done.

Tamara 9:29 AM  

here's my two cents worth... I just listened to a sermon about forgiveness last Sunday. And the bible says to forgive her "70 times 7". Yup, thats a lot of forgiving to do and its no fun to always be the bigger person but thats what we should do. I don't like it either and I'm in the same boat with some vet clinic issues!

sue 12:32 PM  

Oh, geez... I have no answers, but I certainly feel for you.

sue 3:33 PM  

Tried to answer your comment with e-mail, but it said I was blocked for spam content! Here is my response... I don't see any spam? Hmm...

*You put the tiniest amount of butter or marg on top of the pb... makes it a bit creamier and richer. I had to explain that one to Hubs, too! ;) It was
the way I always had them as a kid.

cchuff 4:17 PM  

Jody: Some people are never smart enough (and never will be) to even stress over.

I will never forget the birthday card in which she referred to your brothers as "dirtly little street urchins" simply because they were being kids and playing and got dirty. At least my kids still like me (some of the time) and hers moved as far away as they could get.

Sorry, but your dad is no better if he won't tell her to let it go and move on. I know he's caught in the middle but he needs to tell her to let it go.

This type of thing is one reason of many that I couldn't stick it out with him.

Let it go and don't let it drag you down. Mom

Jen 6:23 PM  

My husband was named, too. I believe we were all involved. Here's the thing, Pastor Todd is right. There's no point fighting this battle. She's the only one that wins because she gets us all stirred up.

We all know what she is (and I won't write it out because it would suck to have it Googled) and that she cannot be trusted. There, I said it & I'm done.

Fantastagirl 11:34 PM  

I don't have words of wisdom - but a few things for you to think about.

1. Do you want this woman around your kids?

2. Do you want your kids to see her treat you this way?

3. If you are done, can you truly be done with her, and not your father? Are you ready to be "done" with him as well.

You have tough decisions ahead of you, I hope that whatever decision you make, you are able to live with...because in the end - you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and know you did the best you could at the time.

And for bringing up things from 10 years ago? Perhaps she needs to be pushed into the mental ward of the hospital you are at... I think it only take 2 signatures....(sorry that wasn't nice)

Bubbi 4:48 AM  

Ahh Jodi,
I am sorry because I know how much all of this "stuff" hurts you. What girl doesnt want their father to stand up for them? I have one of those step moms and my relationship with my dad is less because of her. I have had to come to terms that it wont change--he will do whatever she wants in order to not be alone in his old age--that the bottom line.

Forgive? Yes--something that you can not do with the Lords help.
However, that does not mean you have to sulk away. When your dad is better--it might be a good idea for you to simply talk to him--clear the air with no expectations--this would be only for you.

Its possible you may have to limit contact--you dont need your two girls coming under that kind of abuse.
Let them know--your not going to play.
What does the Bible say? It is easy to pray for those we love but not so easy to pray for those who get close to our enemy list.

Silence in regards to her is louder than any words.
Again--I am sorry you have to deal with this but dont give them anymore brain space :)

Bubbi 4:49 AM  

ps--meant to say you need the Lord to help you to forgive.


I came back to read the comments and I saw the one from your mom...Now I have to say and forgive my french...but Fuck her. (Your Step Mom that is not your mom.)

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