Just A Little Advice For Paris

Oh, Paris, how I do enjoy the daily updates from outside the jail where you are serving your time. I enjoy the thought of you using a stubby pencil and paper to write your notes instead of your diamond encrusted Sidekick. I relish the thought of you taking 15 minute showers and using- gasp!- soap instead of gold flaked French milled body crème. I adore the idea of you eating cold bologna sandwiches instead of caviar and escargot. And, to be quite honest, I truly look forward to the photos of you being released from jail. How will you look having gone 3 weeks without hairdresser, make-up artist or personal stylist?

One couldn’t help but notice –since you so prominently displayed it- that you took a Bible in with you. Honestly, I’m not sure you can do much for your soul in 3 weeks; especially if you plan to continue your lifestyle.

What you should have taken in with you is some staphaseptic. According to The Drudge Report staph infections run rampant in those 3-hots-and-a-cot boarding houses. MRSA (Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus) is highly resistant to most otc antibiotics and penicillin. Luckily you can get staphaseptic at every major drug store chain like Walgreens, RiteAid, CVS and Eckerd. Or maybe ordering from Amazon would be better for you.

Just don’t shave your legs or give yourself a jailhouse mani until you get some.




Staphaseptic:what Paris should use . Please visit the staphaseptic website for more information and to see this very important video.