Political Correctness Test

Politically Correct, To A Fault


To ensure we Americans never offend anyone –
particularly fanatics intent on killing us – airport
screeners are not allowed to profile people.

They will, however, continue to perform random
searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline
pilots with proper identification, Secret Service
agents who are members of the President’s security
detail, and 85-year old Congressmen with mental hips
(these all have taken place- with the Congressman
undergoing a strip search!) Let’s pause a moment and
take the following test which entails a history of
contemporary terrorism (we Americans have such short
memory spans) in chronological order:

In 1970: American University of Beirut President,
Malcolm Kerr, was murdered in Beirut, Lebanon by:
A. Huey, Dewie and Louie
B. Heckle and Jeckle
C. Sylvester and Tweetie or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages 17 and
40.


In September 1970, TWA Flight #741 and Pan Am Flight
#93 were hijacked by:
A. The Marx Bros.
B. The Smothers Bros.
C. The Franciscan Brothers or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40 (in the case of the so-called Popular Front for
the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) who then flew the
planes to Amman, Jordan).


In 1972, 11 Israeli athletes were killed in the Munich
Olympics by:
A. Grandma Moses
B. The night cleaning crew at Rockefeller Center
C. Invaders from Mars or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40.


In March 1973, U.S. Ambassador Cleo Noel & DCM George
Moose were murdered in Khartoum Sudan by:
A. Tom & Jerry
B. Ben & Jerry
C. Dean & Jerry
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In June 1976 U.S. Ambassador, Francis Meloy and Two
other Americans were killed in Lebanon by:
A. The Lennon Sisters
B. The Pointer Sisters
C. The Sisters of Mercy
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In 1979, The U.S. Embassy in Iran was taken over and
embassy officials held hostage for 14 months by:
A. Norwegians from the Lichen Herbarium of the
University of Oslo;
B. Elvis;
C. A tour bus filled with 80-year-old women; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In April 1983, U.S. Embassy in Beirut was attacked
with 49 killed and 120 wounded by:
A. The Three Stooges
B. The Three Musketeers
C. The Three Blind Mice or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In October 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut
was blown up killing 241 U.S. Marines and injuring
hundreds of others by:
A. A Pizza delivery boy;
B. Crazed Feminists complaining that having to throw a
grenade is the beyond its burst radius in basic
training was an unfair and sexist job requirement;
C. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In June 1984, TWA flight #847 to Athens was hijacked
to Beirut and U.S. Navy diver Robert Stethem was
brutally murdered by:
A. Alan King;
A. Rodney King;
C. B.B. King; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


September 1984, William Buckley, CIA station chief in
Beirut, was kidnapped tortured and murdered by:
A. Jerry Lewis
B. Carl Lewis;
C. Shari Lewis; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


Also in September 1984, The U.S. embassy annex in East
Beirut was bombed and two American’s were killed by:
A. Hugh Grant
B. Cary Grant;
C. Ulysses S. Grant; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In October 1985, the Achille Lauro cruise ship was
hijacked and an elderly American man (Leon
Klinghoffer) in a wheelchair was ruthlessly murdered
by:
A. The Vienna Boys Choir
B. The Harlem Globetrotters
C. The French Foreign Legion; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In September 1986 Pam Am Flight #73 was hijacked in
Karachi, Pakistan and 17 people were killed, 150
wounded by:
A. A Polish Polka Band
B. A Spanish flamenco troupe
C. A group of Argentinean gauchos or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In February 1988: William Higgins kidnapped in Lebanon
and murdered by:
A. Members of the AARP
B. Members of the AAA
C. Members of AA or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In December 1988, Pan Am flight 103 was bombed and 270
people killed by:
A. Luca Brazzi, for not being given part in “God
Father 2”
B. The Tooth Fairy;
C. Butch and Sundance, who had a few sticks of
dynamite left from their train mission; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed, six
killed, hundreds injured by:
A. The entire cast of “Cats”;
B. Martha Stewart
C. Cheese-crazed tourists from Wisconsin; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In March 1995, Americans employees of the U.S.
consulate in Karachi, Pakistan were killed in response
to arrest in the World Trade Center bombing suspect
by:
A. Royal Canadian Mounties;
B. Mexican Mariachis
C. Peruvian Indians; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In November 1995, U.S. troops were attacked in Riyadh,
Saudi Arabia and five Americans were killed by:
A. A Hassidic Rabbi;
B. A Jesuit Priest
C. An Amish Farmer; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In June 1996, U.S. Marine barracks in Dhahran, Saudi
Arabia bombed; 19 Americans were killed by:
A. Sigfried and Roy after having been mistaken for
Liberace impersonators
B. Shannon Dougherty
C. Anna Nicole Smith; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were
bombed by:
A. Mr. Rogers;
B. Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s
women problems;
C. The World Wrestling Foundation to promote its next
villain “Mustapha the Merciless”; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


On October 12, 2000, the USS Cole was attacked, 17
crew members were killed and 39 others injured by:
A. The little old lady from Pasadena;
B. A coalminer's daughter;
C. The Swiss Guard
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


09/11/01, four airlines were hijacked and destroyed
by:
A. Bugs Bunny, Wil E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer
Fudd.
B. The U.S. Supreme Court,
C. Barney; or
D. Muslim “extremists” mostly between the ages of 17
and 40


Hmmm. Nope, ain’t no patterns here. Why would we ever
even think about profiling and possibly offending the
sensibilities of “innocent” citizens?

And even if you don't like profiling, why blame the
official just doing his/her job? A more appropriate
target for blame is the person or persons who caused
the profiling to be necessary in the first place!