I've Been Summoned

I suppose it was bound to happen...

I have been randomly selected to appear as a juror. Luckily for the county it's not 'til April. I'm not sure they would consider being out of the country a decent reason to request a deferral...

Now, in all honesty, I don't mind doing my civic duty. The only real problem is that I don’t have child care. I am the child care. And lack of child care does not make you exempt from serving: Automatic exemptions are not allowed for reasons of inconvenience, hardship or public necessity.

So… I’m filling out the questionnaire and thinking to myself, “No defense attorney in his right mind is going to let me on a jury.” I actually considered writing on the deferral request line “I am an evil conservative. I believe in the death penalty. I think sexual predators should be drawn and quartered. I care for my own children and, because of that, I will be bringing them with me. Don’t worry, they’re really well behaved.”

Let’s see…
• Am I a US citizen? Check
• Can I understand English? Check (Hey, wouldn’t it be great if you had to understand English for other things the states do… Like driver’s licenses?)
• Have I ever been convicted of anything? No
• Have I been a witness in a court case? No
• Is a close friend or relative in law enforcement? No (damn)
• Have I or a close friend or relative been the victim of a serious crime? No
• Have I served as a juror before? No

Then it goes in to occupation, education, employer, spouse, children… And, optionally of course, race and gender.

As I finished the survey I looked at the self addressed envelope that was included. And get this:

I have to pay for the stamp.