Poor Lost Soul

This is not going to be a happy post. If you want light hearted please skip this and move down a few. This is a tragic post, one that I knew in my heart that I would someday write.

A few of you have been around long enough to remember back to early August 2005 (I just re-read the posts from then and my heart is breaking). My friend "E" came to me for help. And we did everything we could. Neither Doug or I was prepared for the situation; neither of us had ever been exposed to anything like it. And we hope never to be again. We did all we could. And, ultimately,I think we failed.

This evening I received a call that "E" had died. She was 24. I don't have any details which makes this so difficult. And I may never have them. My best guess is that she overdosed. My worst nightmare is that she was murdered. Because the police called her employer I wonder if she had some sort of accident. Not knowing what happened is worse, I think, than knowing she is dead.

Before "E" became an addict she was probably one of the most intelligent people I knew. She had a quick dry wit and had a way of looking at life that set her completely apart from everyone else. She was an incredible artist. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her future should have been so bright.

Up until the end of 2004 she didn't drink, smoke or do any drugs. Nothing. Why she decided to stick a needle in her arm one night is completely beyond my comprehension. Just that one time made her an addict. Just once.

She didn't want to expose me or my daughters to her addiction. A couple of weeks ago we talked. She was on her way to visit a friend in Kentucky and had driven past Des Moines. I asked her to please stop by on her way back home, that I would have someone watch the girls and I would meet her somewhere. She said ok. I didn't hear from her again.

And now she's gone. I feel hollow. I can't believe I won't see her again. My heart is breaking to think of her alone and lost. May God have mercy on that little lost soul. She hated to be alone.