"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Poor Lost Soul

>> Wednesday, April 04, 2007

This is not going to be a happy post. If you want light hearted please skip this and move down a few. This is a tragic post, one that I knew in my heart that I would someday write.

A few of you have been around long enough to remember back to early August 2005 (I just re-read the posts from then and my heart is breaking). My friend "E" came to me for help. And we did everything we could. Neither Doug or I was prepared for the situation; neither of us had ever been exposed to anything like it. And we hope never to be again. We did all we could. And, ultimately,I think we failed.

This evening I received a call that "E" had died. She was 24. I don't have any details which makes this so difficult. And I may never have them. My best guess is that she overdosed. My worst nightmare is that she was murdered. Because the police called her employer I wonder if she had some sort of accident. Not knowing what happened is worse, I think, than knowing she is dead.

Before "E" became an addict she was probably one of the most intelligent people I knew. She had a quick dry wit and had a way of looking at life that set her completely apart from everyone else. She was an incredible artist. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her future should have been so bright.

Up until the end of 2004 she didn't drink, smoke or do any drugs. Nothing. Why she decided to stick a needle in her arm one night is completely beyond my comprehension. Just that one time made her an addict. Just once.

She didn't want to expose me or my daughters to her addiction. A couple of weeks ago we talked. She was on her way to visit a friend in Kentucky and had driven past Des Moines. I asked her to please stop by on her way back home, that I would have someone watch the girls and I would meet her somewhere. She said ok. I didn't hear from her again.

And now she's gone. I feel hollow. I can't believe I won't see her again. My heart is breaking to think of her alone and lost. May God have mercy on that little lost soul. She hated to be alone.


aka_Meritt 8:00 AM  

I said it yesterday but really... it's all I can say.

"I'm sorry for your loss...."

Perhaps when some answers come it will help the hallow feeling.

Windjammer 8:16 AM  

I'm sorry to hear that, Sis, and wish she could have utilised the friends that she had to help her out. You went above and beyond to try to help her. just like you helped me in my time of need.

I only got to meet her a couple of times, and she was a lovely person.

Jen H 6:04 PM  

She was sweet and kind. You would have never thought so at first glance. The tattoos, the goth look paired with her beautiful face. Her outgoing personality was unexpected. No doubt, she will be missed.

You did all you could, and more than most would have done.

I hope she has finally found the peace she could not find here.

The Kept Woman 9:24 PM  

I remember you writing about her in the past.

I'm so sorry. As I heard someone say at Chris Farley's funeral she's "...in a better place." Drugs and self-destructive behavior are hard to stop and maybe now she can be at peace with herself.

Marie 9:01 AM  

Very very sad.... so sorry.

Tamara 12:12 PM  

I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you can find closure in the midst of your grief.

I went back and read from Aug05. You two are amazing for taking her in and helping her!

Jennifer 11:02 AM  

I'm sorry.. I know those words don't do much to comfort your feelings, but hopefully she will be in a better place now.

Fantastagirl 3:59 PM  

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure the time she spent with you is some of her happiest....

so sorry...

Bubbi 5:07 AM  

awwww Jodi,
I remember the story---Jodi you helped and you loved her. That is all anyone can do and more than most would do.

God Bless Jodi

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