Now I'm Just Pissed
>> Thursday, April 12, 2007
And not good "pissed" like the British.
There are stages of grief and I actually thought I had passed this one sometime last week. But, no, it hit me last night- hard. One week after finding out E had died I was pissed off at her. So pissed that I was in tears.
I'm pissed because she didn't care about those of us who loved her. I'm pissed that she didn't let us help. I'm pissed at the asshole who gave her a needle the first time. I'm pissed that she took it. I'm pissed that I let her go home so easily after trying to help her. I'm pissed that I let her avoid me.
Mostly I'm pissed because the girl that died is not the same girl that I loved. Not even remotely.
3 comments:
I wasn't sure what to say so I wasn't saying anything... but then I felt bad for not saying anything. So here I am...
And - being pissed is a natural stage. Be pissed. Be very pissed.
But don't be pissed at the 'asshole' that gave her the drugs... she made that decision herself. Even a three year old knows the dangers of drugs. She made her decisions in life. You have made yours. Be pissed, and vent and cry and scream and rage if you have to.
Peace will come.
That Meritt...she's so damn smart.
I can't say it any better than she did.
I would be pissed too...
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