Is It OK to....

be sad about something that may not have actually been?

My cycles have always been 28 days. No more, no less, right on the money. I can time my period down to the hour. I can feel myself ovulate. I know my body.

And today, one week before I am due for my monthly "visit"- BAM!

And this isn't a normal, run of the mill monthly. I am having cramps like I have never felt. I don't have cramps. Ever. And everything is just wierd; wrong. Ladies, you all know what I mean, right?

Although there is no way to know for sure, I'm pretty positive that I was pregnant- if only for 10 days.

At first it was just a small spot. I spotted with Brenna at first so I wasn't worried. Then it became bigger, and more painful, and I knew that if I was I wasn't anymore.

Which makes me sad.