John Kerry on Jon Stewart (get yer mind out of the gutter)

John Kerry was on Jon Stewart's Daily Show tonight. Half way through, I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and had to comment on it. Thank God for laptops, wireless internet and TiVo. (I told you I'm a geek.)

Let's start this little journey by discussing JF Kerry's botox problem. Half of his face is immobile and it's really distracting to watch. Kerry seemed genuinely happy to be on the show. He should, yesterday Steward played the Kevin Bacon game with the Swiftvets.com guys to George Bush. Tellingly, he didn’t do the same with MoveOn, MediaFund and ACT. I actually think it’s a good sign Jon Stewart is making more fun of Bush than Kerry, Jon usually goes after the big dogs. Don’t forget how helpful John Edwards’ appearance on the show was to his presidential campaign.

Anyway, I digress; back to watching the show. What did I do before TiVo?

JF Kerry gets a big chuckle out of Stewart (too many John/Jon’s in this campaign) saying that after he watched cable news all weekend he found out that Kerry was never in Viet Nam. Isn’t that why Kerry took his own 8mm video camera over with him? I heard on Meet the Press that Kerry sometimes claims he spent 2 tours in Viet Nam. Doesn’t that just sum up his perception on the world? After 4 and ½ months in country, he claims to have spent 2 tours in combat. If he were sitting on a bar stool trying to impress the locals, he would get laughed at, but at this level, he looks like a self-delusional buffoon. Walter Mitty-ish even.

He makes a point about “most Americans would like to have a much more intelligent debate about where the country is going.” I agree. So why doesn’t he offer up such a debate? All we got out of him at the convention was “I am the anti-Bush and I would do everything Bush has done, but better. Just don’t ask me how, ‘cause I’m making stuff up as I go. Don’t these veterans behind me look good? I was in Viet Nam!” When talking about the economy… “When I was in Viet Nam.” When talking about outsourcing… “My Band of Brothers.” “I am reporting for duty.” All that talk about Viet Nam, then “How dare you attack my trumped up military record? Do you know how hard it is to get the Secretary of the Navy to sign off on an award? Especially if it’s the Secretary under Reagan, 15 years after the fact?” Oh, wait, we were talking about intelligent debate, I forgot. “One thing I learned in Viet Nam is to stay the course and meet challenges head on.” Damn, there I go again.

My God… Kerry is saying that the Swift Boat Veterans are funded by… wait for it…. Republican supporters. Wow, you mean George Soros didn’t want to pony up for anther 527? Does he honestly think that major league Democrats would fund a 527 against the Democrat candidate? Would he be equally surprised to find that Kerry supporting 527’s are supported by Democrats? I think not. The Democrat National Committee recently touted their partnership with MoveOn in voter registration drives. Isn’t that illegal? More info here.

Kerry said that he will be “laser beam focused” and that he just gave a speech there in New York about “real choices”. I think that means another flip-flop for Kerry, since the last policy statement from him pretty much went down the Republican agenda. Oh, I get it, he’s in New York, where the population is predominantly liberal. When he goes to Dallas (I doubt that will ever happen) he’ll take the conservative line. There’s the choice right there! Just pick the speech in the town of your choice!

Kerry just denied being the #1 most liberal senator. That ranking came out of a liberal think tank to rate their supporters. I guess we’re just supposed to forget all those votes to gut the defense and intelligence establishments, votes for late-term abortion, votes for tax increases, votes for new entitlements, and meeting with Communists when not on official diplomatic missions. I wonder what liberal means to him?

Wow, he just admitted to being a flip-flopper, flop-flipper. Then he goes on about needing more entitlements and taxes.

Kerry thinks that President Bush abused his authority in going to war in Iraq. He thought Bush was going to build an international coalition and exhaust the UN inspection process, and lastly “He didn’t give meaning to the words ‘going to war as a last resort’”. “I think the US should never go to war to because you want to, you go to war because you have to.” Evidently Kerry has missed all of those Intelligence Committee meetings, where he might have learned that Clinton had ample reason to go to war in the 90’s, but chose not to. Bush is finishing up what should have happened years ago. I think 12 years of inspections was too long. But wait, there’s more. The UN was getting a percentage of the Oil for Palaces program. Nope, no conflict of interest there. The “non-existent” coalition include the following; the United Kingdom, Portugal, Denmark, the Netherlands, Norway, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Albania, Moldova, Macedonia, Romania, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Estonia, Kazakstan, Mongolia, Japan, Thailand, Philippines, Azerbaijan, Georgia, El Salvador, Dominican Republic, Honduras, New Zealand, Australia, and the United States of America. (thanks Chris Lynch!) Last time I checked, the UK, Portugal, et al weren’t states. I think that meets the definition of “international coalition”. Hey, what about that vote you guys in Congress had in November, 2002, that gave President Bush authority to invade Iraq? Bush is not Clinton, he says what he means and means what he says. Is that why he’s so confused?

Kerry then goes on about “4 million American’s have lost health care coverage” but doesn’t back that up. Last year, I changed my insurance providers, does that mean I’m a part of that 4 million number? It’s right up there with the claim that middle-class Americans are paying more taxes, it doesn’t hold up to facts. Of course, many Democrats think middle-class is anyone paying taxes. However, everyone paying taxes got a tax cut, so how can he state that we’re paying more taxes? Aha! It’s because people who don’t make enough to pay taxes didn’t get a check! Well, that would be considered an entitlement, not a tax cut, now wouldn’t it?

Oooh, Steward got away with saying that Kerry loves Fidel Castro.

Kerry has a better “plan”. But he can’t say what it is besides universal healthcare. When has the government done anything efficiently and effectively? Why does anyone think that a government run healthcare policy would be a good idea? Bureaucrats are already too involved. Get the bureaucrats out of healthcare and costs will come down naturally.

Oil! What to do? “We can’t drill our way out of this crisis.” True and I can’t say anything bad about this. However, we need to let private industry do their job to put something on the market. Once government gets involved, it’ll be 12 years before the committee format gets approved, let alone something tangeable getting done.

Kerry said that his rallies are open to the public and that he wants to talk to America. He conveniently forgets all of his own invitation only events.

I’ll leave with Jon Stewart asking “Is it true that every time I use your wife’s ketchup, she gets a nickel?”


Addendum: CNN now has a story about Kerry's appearance